


Beta

by Destabilize



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Backstory, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/F, Masturbation, NSFW, OCs - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self Confidence Issues, Tags May Change, Work In Progress, etc i suck at tags, jasper - Freeform, jasper backstory, pink pearl - Freeform, preamble to smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:02:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7949080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destabilize/pseuds/Destabilize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh but she's wonderful!" Her Diamond's voice was like music, strong and clear but soft and gentle enough that you wanted to lean into her words. "I see what the technician meant, I'm sure all the wasted resources shall be made up for in this one." She laughed a low soft laugh, almost apologetic and tilted her head to gaze adoringly down.</p><p>Jasper was born into war and told to be perfect. Nothing could go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2 hours

**Author's Note:**

> I generally write porn on this account, and this was supposed to be just that, PWP. But, if not plot, then backstory happened and I just love writing Jasper. Her insecurities, her pride, her drive and her sorrow. Porn will happen eventually, and then angst. Sorry.

"This is the Jasper, my Diamond."

The earth breeze tousled the sheer pink curtains. 

The palanquin was large, light and airy, maybe made with the specifications of a slightly taller Diamond. However, it was adorned with only pink, rose, candyfloss, fuchsia- and a beautiful pink form reclined in her seat as Jasper stepped forwards to kneel.

The figure leant forwards in interest.

Her hair framed her face like a giant pale four pointed starburst; her skin was darker, a pretty blush across her nose and cheeks and luminous deep pink eyes. 

Her pink hand caught Jasper's sight as it beckoned her to stand again. Jasper did, crossing her arms to form a diamond with her wrists and hands. One red, one orange. Banded Jasper. A few hours old. 

"Oh but she's wonderful!" Her Diamond's voice was like music, strong and clear but soft and gentle enough that you wanted to lean into her words. "I see what the technician meant, I'm sure all the wasted resources shall be made up for in this one." She laughed a low soft laugh, almost apologetic, and tilted her head to gaze adoringly down at Jasper. 

Jasper swallowed, and managed a husky, "My Diamond," before a brisk cough interjected. 

It was the Prasiolite, with narrow pale green eyes who had brought Jasper from the Kindergarten. "My Diamond, I'm afraid we must go to meet her squad within the next thirty minutes." 

Pink Diamond sighed with a smile, "Of course General. Go and protect our planet." She leant back in her chair and folded her legs, still smiling down at Jasper as though she hadn't seen something so good in such a long time. Jasper nodded, thought she had no idea what she could be agreeing to.

At least, at the very least she'd got to see her Diamond before her very own eyes before she was thrown into battle. 

She was beautiful. 

As though she'd heard Jasper's thought, Pink Diamond tilted her head. "My court will be moving to the alpha kindergarten site in a few hours anyway- bring her back to see me maybe, if there's a moment- oh Pearl!" 

A Coral Pearl flitted past Jasper to bow to her Diamond, and leant up to say something quiet in her ear which Jasper couldn't catch. The Prasiolite laid a hand on her arm.

Jasper tore her eyes away from Pink Diamond and turned to leave, understanding her queue. 

The Prasiolite was a wiry but strong gem with narrow hips and broad shoulders, but a good head and a half shorter than Jasper. Her gem was pale green and many faceted, and glinted in the sunrise. Jasper's first sunrise. 

Outside the sky was turning pink with the clouds catching the sun's blush. The breeze was cold but not as cold as it had seemed in the kindergarten, falling from her embrace of molten sandstone into air and movement and voices. On the opposite horizon the blackness Jasper had woken into was fading, the stars along with it, where, somehow she knew, Homeworld hung in the vastness of space. Above them both, night met day with a hazy blue, scattered with clouds and the fading moon. The moon gave Jasper resolve. That moon, this planet, those were her Diamond's. Pink Diamond's. She knew, like she knew who she was and how to form words and how to fight, that she had to keep this planet for her Diamond and fight with tooth and claw for it. It was how it was. 

Coming back to her current situation with a start, Jasper noticed the Prasiolite had been talking continually as they strode towards the warp pad: "-and after a full three rotations the training would culminate in advanced weaponry and leadership modules for the gems that had shown aptitude, but for you, and the others well, I guess keep your head down and don't stop moving is the best advice I can give you right now." 

Jasper nodded and stepped up onto the warp pad. 

"I'm going to have to leave you now, I've got to get back and see what's salvageable from the total mess back- anyway- your commander is going to be an Onyx, she'll have the shoulder cape- just do what she says and maybe don't get shattered. They want some kind of good press to send back home and if what happened in Beta gets out stars know it'll be bad enough-" Prasiolite stopped, snorted, "I'm going on. I'll warp you but you'll get the hang of it soon yourself."

"Yes." 

Prasiolite leaned down to touch the pad with a calloused hand, and Jasper faintly heard over the whir of light that came down, "Good luck Beta Jasper."


	2. 15 hours

The sun was beginning to dip behind the horizon again, already half hidden behind a jagged array of mountains, blue with snow on their tips in the dying light. 

There was a sudden high pitched shriek of static in Jasper's ear and she clamped a hand to her head. 

Damn this thing; Jasper couldn't see how it helped at all. Even if a field commander issuing orders could occasionally be heard through the screaming microphone, the relentless jitter of white noise was more distracting to her battle than the benefit of that Onyx's commentary. 

"YOUR LEFT!"

A real voice cut the wind. Jasper swung about, fist whistling into the hard muscle of another gems shoulder, a small one, a Ruby? It blurred past her in a streak of dark red, furious and small, head down aiming for the squadron behind Jasper. Curses. 

The Ruby was tiny, all muscle powering away on her tiny legs with some kamikaze intention of slowing the units progress. Jasper ripped out her earpiece and threw herself into a whirl of heat and fury- she had learnt a lot in the last twelve hours. 

Her momentum flung her forwards in what should have been a dizzying tumble of sight and speed, but Jasper had been built for this. She snatched the Ruby off the ground and landed them both just a few hundred metres in front of the squadron, with a whistle of rain in her eyes that was somehow snatched up underneath her visor. They were closer into their lines, it was true, but the Ruby would not be a threat for long. 

She was tiny, squat and strong like most Rubies, hair damp across her forehead in the rain and her gem on her chest round and neatly faceted. Well placed, indicative of strength of heart or something else- those sort of things didn't matter. Jasper had only done one thing her short life. Destroy. 

Jasper phased away her helmet.

The Ruby quaked beneath her, pinned by fear or nausea from their flight, confused that her target was now- where? Jasper held her by the arms, then dipped her face to the Ruby's chest pulling her head back by the hair as though they were lovers in an embrace. The Ruby whimpered and scrabbled at Jasper's neck as though she knew what was coming. Jasper sunk her teeth about the Ruby's gem to rip it from her projection, and the Ruby screamed.

The noise was louder than the static in Jasper's ear had been, but overall lost amongst the shouts of battle. The Ruby disappeared in a clean puff of smoke. There little blood on this battlefield. The gem left between Jasper's teeth was salty and warm, smooth with sharp cut edges threatening to cut hot lines into Jasper's tongue. 

Jasper gently slid it between her molars and bit down.

A shard cut her lip- again- as she spat. One of so many tiny injuries all over her form, but nothing to stop her from doing what she was made to do. 

Mildly regretting her loss of headpiece now the heat of the moment was over, she resumed a jog moving forwards again over the litter of weapons, dirt and mud that was mixing with the plants they'd razed as they went. 

Then, another whistle. Jasper clamped a hand back to her ear, smearing mud on her face, before recalling she'd thrown the headpiece, and then everything was an explosion of mud and debris and was in hot hot pain and flying-

She landed with a thud, actually thrown towards where she was going, crawling to her feet in front of a surprised Agate who nevertheless raised her axe instantly on seeing Jasper's pink diamond blazoned on her chest. 

Jasper tried to throw herself up from the floor, head still ringing but her left arm gave way in a white hot agony and she realised she couldn't feel her hand. Instead, she rolled away so the axe came down with a thud into the dirt. The Agate growled. 

Jasper managed to push herself to her feet with her non-dominant hand, her left arm useless and hanging. Her helmet had dissipated with the shock of the explosion. 

The Agate circled around, both hands grasping the axe firmly and her gaze fixed in triumph on Jasper's bloodied dirty disabled form. "Homeworld scum," she hissed, before raising the axe to swing at Jasper's chest. 

Jasper formed her helmet and bent to meet the blow, both of them sliding back in the dirt in a shower of sparks. Looking up, the Agate was down on her backside, dazed and clearly wondering why her blow had ended in sparks not smoke. Jasper didn't let her recover and leapt to kick the Agate in the neck with all the strength she had left. It cracked with a horrible crunch, and Jasper fell back to her knees in the dancing dust left in the Agate's wake, feeling for her gem in the dirt with a shaky hand. 

Her fingers tightened about the warm stone, but she barely had the strength left to crush between them- she managed a crack, and tossed it away, frustrated at the waves of dizziness that washed over her as she stood. There were more rebel soldiers approaching, but in this state she'd just be crushed - if not after one then after a few of the traitorous Quartz's soldiers. That damn explosion!

Jogging made her broken arm throb with such vigour she wanted to retreat into her gem right there, but stars, she was going to get back to her squadron first. That something so ridiculous could take her down- Jasper gritted her teeth and ran on as darkness fell on the battlefield, finally finding the tents and supplies of her own line and Pink Diamond's soldiers. 

Winding her way back to command she found Onyx there, talking with a Clear Quartz she'd met when they'd been deployed. 

"Hey Beta what are you doing- shit girl what did you do to your arm?" Clear Quartz raised her white eyebrows practically into her hairline. 

Jasper sighed. "I know, okay, hey- hand me that would you?" She gestured exhaustedly towards Clear Quartz's scimitar, propped up next to her. 

The Onyx commander frowned, "Jasper-"

"I fucked up, I understand, just, leave me somewhere safe for an hour, I won't be longer than that." Without meeting either of their eyes, she turned the scimitar's point up to beneath her ribcage, and with a sigh jerked the blade up into her torso.


	3. 16 hours

She came to in a tent, alone. 

The weightlessness of having no form was in turn both appealing and horrible. There was no sensation, and Jasper could consider her injuries in a completely dispassionate way. But even in her span of a day she'd grown to like the weight of Earth's gravity and the touch of air on her skin, and floating, well, it was all very well but- it wasn't for her. Besides. She needed to get back. 

Every gem she'd met in her short life had impressed her importance on her. It had gone around the ranks already.

-Yes- her- yes she's THAT one- did you hear? -that's her?- they wanted to keep it quiet- look at that, my stars she's big- what did she absorb the others?- is that her- is that the Jasper?- is that her? - is that the beta Jasper? - is that- is that her? 

An image of a smaller, redder Jasper flashed before her eyes. One arm shorter than the other, and un-even walk. She wouldn't have lasted the night. Another, one armed, short hair, sightless. Another, tall but thin, coughing dust. Another-

When Jasper reformed, she changed nothing about herself. Her hair needed to be long so when she span it cut like razor wire. Her form was perfect, and -besides the cosmetic- near unalterable. It was something she was born knowing. Her uniform was the same. 

She came to in a tent, alone. 

It was still dark outside, so for her first reformation she assumed she hadn't done too badly with her timing. She could still taste the battle in the air, the smoke and the dirt and the death. She flexed her fingers on her left hand, relieved to have them back and moving. 

Onyx came in just as Jasper reformed her helmet.

To Jasper's surprise she was grinning, white teeth shining out of her dark face, surprisingly warm eyes under thick dreads of hair she pushed up and backwards as she contemplated Jasper. 

"Serendipatite thinks you took down about 70 rebels out there. And you barely got hurt- but I'm guessing you think you've done badly." She laughed now, out loud, and sat down on the bench Jasper hadn't noticed, pushing an Amethyst's stone on a rag to one side and patting the seat beside her. 

Jasper sat. 

Onyx seemed to wait for her to say something, but when she didn't she continued, "So, that's it huh? Beta Jasper pops out the ground, no training, roaring like a mad thing and then silently dispatches most of a battalion, oh-" she slapped Jasper jovially on the knee, "And then doesn't even wait for a destabilizer but poofs herself with a platoon mate's sword? You are going down in war tales Beta, you are. "

A destabilizer. The word was new, but Jasper could guess what it was. She shrugged. "Could you all, er, drop the 'beta' thing?" 

Onyx looked surprised, "Uh sure, your squad just thinks it's impressive you know, because of-"

"My sisters. I know." 

Onyx looked perturbed again, and Jasper realised she wasn't saying the right things. So much for popping out of the ground knowing everything-

"Well, I am impressive." Jasper attempted a smile, and to her relief Onyx laughed and slapped her knee again.

"That's it! Right, well I can't sit here chatting all day because I'm your senior, but really Jasper, you're an asset here. I hear Pink Diamond liked you too." Onyx winked and Jasper felt a twist in her gut. 

"How did you- ?"

"Well, we're a giant quartz rumour mill when we're not fighting, so believe me, everyone knows who you are by now Be- Jasper." Onyx smiled again, "Remember, we're fighting for her."

"I know."

Onyx stood and stretched. Jasper didn't know her well enough, but she supposed she looked tired. She had very little concept of how long this war had been going on. There was no point in asking. 

There passed a moment of silence where Jasper just sat, and Onyx stood. The sky was black outside, but redder at the edges like the fires of the battlefield were doing their level best to climb up into the darkness. Above the tents and their own lights it was hard to see the stars anymore. 

The sheets rustled in the breeze and a whorl of cooler air flitted into the tent, taking away some of the dampness left rising from the muddy ground beneath their feet. Jasper realised it was quiet outside with only the chattering of troops and none of the screams of war.

"Did we move? What happened when I was out?" 

Onyx turned around, "They retreated to regroup, it's harder to fight in the darkness here. They'll probably attack again early though, and sunrise is in," Onyx pulled out a small screen and waved a hand over it, "three hours." 

She put it back into her pocket. "Just get back to your squadron, rest, whatever, it'll all begin again soon believe me." She scratched her head and adjusted her cape about her shoulders, rubbing at some mud that had somehow flicked up onto her neck where it had dried, crackled and pale against her skin. 

"See you later soldier. Go back to the other though Beta, really. Jasper." 

"Ma'am." 

The tent was small, and with the size of Jasper's body it should have felt cramped. Yet, somehow the close tarpaulins were a comfort now she was alone again. The Amethyst beside glinted softly in the low light, and Jasper wondered what had happened to her; very few gems came back in a state to be regenerated. Once again there was no point asking what happened to them- crushed, stolen- who knew what those rebels did. What did it matter? Jasper would never fall into their hands. 

She wouldn't. 

A few moments passed, and Jasper considered staying alone in the regeneration tent. Yet, Onyx's words reminded her that at least some socialisation was expected before they left again, however much she didn't desire it. All the others seemed so much older, if smaller, if slower. They made jokes Jasper didn't understand and said things about her she couldn't comprehend- couldn't contextualise. 

Maybe after the war she'd have time to learn to talk to them, but now it seemed a waste of time. 

But if it was expected. 

She should go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd sorry :( if there are glaring typos please tell me!


	4. 3 days

The next two cycles of night and day passed a blur of violence. 

Somehow, the rebel Quartz's soldier never seemed to dwindle as much as they should have. More than once Jasper was sure she'd poofed that Ruby before, or cracked that Labradorite. There were rumours abounding- as Jasper found they did in tight knit groups of gems- that the rebel leader could even heal a cracked gem. Something about the rich mineral of the earth's crust that made her, granting her this special power. 

Jasper countered that at least she had the strength to _shatter_ gems- thanks to the rich mineral of the earth's crust that made her. Some of her platoon mates couldn't physically destroy the gems of those they felled (at least bare handed)- and there was even a small degree of disgust when Onyx saw Jasper crush a Lapis Lazuli in her jaws. Still, it worked, and when Jasper did that, well, at least they never came back. 

Peridots were sent out in their dozens to collect the shards. 

Some of her platoon dropped the beta from her name, after all she was the only Jasper there. Most, however, didn't. 

Even after just 48 hours of battle the rumour mill threw her first days' kills into the hundreds- before it was pointed out that there weren't even that many rebels there that day. It dropped back to below a hundred, and differed depending on who you spoke to and as to whether they'd had a good day or not. If it had been a bad one, well, Jasper had practically taken down Rose Quartz alone, no, really. 

In between skirmishes and missions, the older gems taught the younger ones what little they could in the time they had about procedure, tactics, fighting skills. Jasper had been wrong, and Onyx had been blasé. It wasn't about socialising, it was about surviving. Well, and a bit of fun and rough-housing. They were all stressed, and all quartzes. 

Then, they were being moved past the Alpha Kindergarten and onto protect the Lunar Sea Spire, and Pink Diamond lit once more in Jasper's mind like a beacon. 

00000

"No! I said- no listen! I told them what you said and- [...] -no- look- I'm trying- if you'd just come and- what? [...] That's- no- that's not, no, I didn't say that- [...] fine.[...] No, it's fine. [...] Close call. Pearl? Pearl!" 

Jasper leant on the cool wall of the temple, her bulk hidden from sight concealed by shadow and angle. She had been about to walk into Pink Diamond's chamber, but frozen in place to the sound of her Diamond's soft, strained, beautiful voice. 

Jasper knew she shouldn't have heard any of what she just had. 

There was a faint patter of sock on tile and Jasper's battle instinct's made her spin wildly, thwacking a hand into the wall to stop herself doing anything she'd regret. Coral Pearl side-stepped Jasper's frozen form with a slightly raised arch of an eyebrow. She stepped lightly over Jasper's foot and flitted around the corner into Pink Diamond's central chamber. 

Jasper let out an unnecessary breath and straightened herself, getting up from the wall where she had half crouched, hand splayed for balance. She felt like she was glowing the stupidity of it. Couldn't she do anything that wasn't the action of a half hour old gem with dirt still in her eyes? And the Pearl had seen her- oh stars-

"Jasper? The Jasper from the Beta Kindergarten?" 

Jasper's throat fell into her stomach. 

"I, I my- my diamond!" Jasper froze stiffly, standing, wide eyed. Then, in a flurry, she remembered to salute, and nearly tangled her hands together in something quite unlike a diamond at first. 

Pink Diamond looked a little tired, maybe, the light behind her casting her whole face into shadow as she peered about the corner a gloved hand holding onto the wall. 

Yet, as Jasper's blush rose even further, Pink Diamond's whole face lit up as she laughed. 

"Why, you're the Jasper. You came back to see me!" She had a child's delight, captured in her giant, elegant body. 

Jasper lowered her hands slightly, swallowing. "I-"

"Oh this is lovely- yes- come in come on, I have some time now- Pearl? I don't have to speak to Blue until- well- when was it?" Pink Diamond turned away back to her chamber, the swing of her cape leaving a waft of hyacinth and rain that Jasper could taste on her tongue. Earth smells, maybe, but so much better than the mud and sour scent of the battle field. 

Jasper followed her shyly, her fearlessness her squadron knew her for seeming far away. 

The central chamber was round with such a high ceiling that even a diamond's hair couldn't risk brushing the roof. The ceiling was separated into panels, but the space between the distinguishing tiles was still blank and dusty with clay waiting for the mosaic to be laid. The walls were similar, chalky and plain, but the space was still impressive. The central desk was finished, of course, with a diamond sized chair placed behind the semi-circular console. 

Coral Pearl stood on some steps next to the desk, tapping idly as shapes and letters flitted across the holoscreen. She didn't acknowledge Jasper. 

Jasper eyed her suspiciously, but she didn't look up once. Pink Diamond just strode right through the holoscreen that minimised automatically to Coral Pearl's annoyance. The slender gem smoothed down her ruffles and ran a hand through her orange-pink hair, before hopping off her steps and retreating into a corner with a pinched expression.

Jasper followed Pink Diamond tentatively, stopping a good few meters away when Pink Diamond sat down in her chair and span away from her desk to face her. 

"Oh you look just the same! Have you really been in battle?" 

Jasper plucked at the leggings of her suit in a nervous tick she'd only just discovered. "I, er, yes my Diamond." It was alien to have to look _up_ at a gem again. Jasper glanced down to Pink Diamond's soft booted feet instead, "My Diamond I'm- I'm surprised you remembered me. I didn't want to intrude by coming here as the platoon was passing but-"

Pink shushed her a gentle raise of her hand. 

"Jasper, you're my success you know that. I've already heard tell of the battles you've won for me, and, it's never a hardship to look upon such a beautifully formed gem." 

"I- My Diamond- I, I only do it for you. Anything for, for you." Jasper cursed herself for stumbling, bumbling, become and inarticulate mess where her usual reticence wasn't appropriate. She felt compelled to tell her Diamond, well, everything. Her very presence had the words spilling out of her and so she balled her hands into fists and looked down even harder, as thought her own feet if stared at quite firmly enough might decide to walk her out of the door.

"Jasper, look up, please." 

Her neck muscles felt as stiff as cold iron, but she obeyed and met Pink Diamond's concerned gaze. Her eyes were deep strong pink, framed by darker lashes and a scattering of freckles dusting the tops of her cheekbones.

"Come and sit here, I have some reports to sign but you can tell me what's been happening out there while I've been so protected in here."

"I'm not sure you'd like to hear too much. My Diamond." 

"Nonsense, no-one else will tell me everything, I mean," she looked Jasper in the eye again, "I know you find it a little hard to speak to me, but really, I don't bite. Please?" 

Jasper could have been shattered right there and then gone happily back into the void; whether from happiness or utter shame she wasn't entirely sure. In the end, her joy won out and she breathed, and cautiously stepped closer to Pink Diamond, who had turned back to her console. 

"Up here-" A hand patted a bench to the right of her that Jasper hadn't really paid attention to, just a straight slab around the same height as the chair. Jasper crossed behind Pink Diamond, avoiding stepping on any trailing cape, and pulled herself up onto the seat. Standing, Jasper maybe was half Pink Diamond's height, but broader, and sitting she came up to a little below her shoulder, which, Jasper noted, was also lightly freckled, like a smattering of stars flung across the pink softness of her skin. 

Pink Diamond opened some file and dragged it onto the pad in front of her and picked up a stylus. 

"Go then my Jasper. Where were you deployed first? I hear it was near the Ocean ruins, those mountains where the rebels had- well- what was it? A forge? You tell me." 

"That's- nearly right. It was on the flatlands a few miles from there." 

Jasper spoke, and found it strangely easy now she wasn't face to face with her. Bizarrely, Pink Diamond listened well, and only questioned occasionally. Jasper skipped over the gory details of battle, instead listing the types of gems they'd come up against, and the tactics they'd used, the earth scenery they had to navigate, a little about the gems in her platoon- even the earth fauna they'd seen. 

Coral Pearl left after a little while, clearly with something better to do. To her surprise, when Jasper finished with, "And then, well, I came here I suppose." (Two and a half days weren't really that long to describe) Pink Diamond started talking about her own knowledge of the other battles that had gone on, explaining some of the things Jasper had seen or heard distantly about. 

The perspective of an outsider who wasn't on the ground really made it clearer the scale of the war. Skirmishes were contextualised and Jasper even found herself suggesting that the deployment of a Carnelian team would have been better spent elsewhere. 

Pink Diamond sighed at that, and Jasper was finally sure that she'd overstepped the mark and was going to be shattered then and there.

"You know, Jasper, you're probably right. It's so hard to see from here sometimes." 

Pink Diamond's hand came out behind Jasper and she gently petted the top of Jasper's head following the fall of her hair down. Jasper didn't know quite what to do, but she was leaning into the touch. Pink Diamond smoothed her thumb down over a sticky up piece of her mane. 

"I have a call to make, so you'd better leave now." She took her hand away and swatted at a few screens until the Diamond Authority logo came up just as the Pearl entered, hazy and pixelated behind the screens.

"The call, My Diamond?"

"I haven't forgotten Pearl, thank you. Could you fetch my data pad please?"

Jasper quickly hopped off the bench and smoothed her uniform down. She made a quick bow, and started to step away.

"Thank you Jasper. Come back? I'll send a note onto your group to tell them why you were absent, don't worry. We don't want you getting disciplined for me, do we?" She laughed, a little sadly, and Jasper hesitated.

"Go! You're late and I'm about to be." 

Jasper bowed then, and saluted. What was she doing not obeying instantly?! "Yes my Diamond." 

She didn't look behind again but left swiftly the way she'd come in. The same guards recognised her and let her out, and standing in the cool earth early evening she wondered if she'd imaged it all.


	5. 7 days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets NSFW and there are some consent issues, just a warning.

It was unthinkable, but the rebels were still holding out. 

Jasper was starting to get on better with her fellow quartz soldiers. They were all huge hulking gems, none much bigger than Jasper but plenty to rival her. Now she was accepted as staying despite her newness the others actually spoke to her like one of them. Well, mostly. Jasper discovered that none of them had fought other gems before, aside from in training drills. They were unused to crushing gems and dealing with forms like their own instead of biological matter, and they found the whole war somewhat disturbing. Jasper also gathered that this war had gone on longer than most others the other soldiers had fought in. 

A Jade soldier had taken to patting Jasper's bicep before she left for the field- to bring her good fortune. The others had copied her- The Quartz That Could was their lucky charm. Jasper got used to be thumped from all sides before they left and learnt to grin and bear it, quite literally, as she felt that if she ever complained the sheer drop in morale might get a good half of them killed. 

After the explosion incident on her first day that ended her killing streak, she had made sure to never get poofed in the battle field. No doubt her team would have protected her gem with their lives- but what if it threw them off? What could she do, trapped in her stone and uselessly clasped to a fearful Tourmaline's breast? Nothing, was the answer, so, like that first time she continued with all sorts of horrible injuries until a moment came to retreat sensibly and hide back in the regen' tent. Onyx probably would have said it made her more a liability even if her team didn't see it, but well, Onyx wasn't there anymore and Jasper knew she could hold it. Onyx had been moved onto a different squad and not heard from since. 

Aside from being Homeworld's lucky girl, Jasper noticed that she starting to gain the attention of gems in a different way. 

When she came back with her uniform half ripped off Clear Quartz whistled and asked if Jasper needed any help getting the rest of it off, if she knew what she meant. Jasper just growled and skulked off to heal. The Rubies practically swooned at her feet, and would get or do anything for her, but again she ignored them and shook them off. When she wasn't listening to her fellow soldiers woes she felt their gazes follow her around the camp. She didn't ever talk to them though, but they talked and stared at her endlessly. 

One night after a sparring session, a Dolomite Jasper had easily knocked down followed her back into the tent where Jasper had left the data pad she'd been given. Her spiky golden hair was damp with sweat and rain and her eyes were wide and dark. She was grinning. 

"Hey Jasper." 

Jasper turned around from what she was doing, squatting next to her small bag (data pad, a cloth, hair tie, a pretty earth shell and a comb.) She didn't move and just tilted her head to indicate she was listening. 

Dolomite sucked her teeth and lounged back against a tent post. 

"What do you do for fun? Hey?"

Jasper frowned and stood up, dropping her hair tie back into the bag. She'd expected a moan, a request for battle advice, something to comfort and encourage. She shrugged, shortly. She couldn't be bothered with- whatever this was about. 

"I have a few suggestions." Dolomite grinned wide. 

Without prompting Dolomite stepped over to Jasper closing the small space between them. Her body was cool unlike Jasper's own, and she reach up to catch a hold of Jasper's hair behind her ear to pull Jasper's face down to her own.

"Wanna let off some stream? I can make you feel real good I bet," she murmured into Jasper's jawline, voice practically a purr. She dragged a pale hand down Jasper's arm, sending the hairs on Jasper's neck prickling. Aside from the war and the lucky punches and pats no-one had touched her like this except Pink Diamond- that gentle hand caressing her mane of cream hair...

Jasper didn't know what to do. The Dolomite pushed her lithe body up against Jasper. Her breasts pushed into the Dolomite's shoulders above own which pushed softly into Jasper's ribcage. The hand in her hair petting and tugged softly, before encouraging her head back as Dolomite opened her soft mouth to Jasper's throat. The sensation was hot and wet as teeth grazed over her skin. Jasper's breathing was short with a combination of panic and what she knew must be a growing arousal- she was about to push Dolomite off when a thigh ground up at juncture of her legs and she almost whined, parting her thighs to the unfamiliar touch. 

"Like that Jasper? The first to fuck the Quartz That Could, find out what pretty lil' sounds you make- oh I'll be the-"

Jasper suddenly gathered herself. She fumbled and reached, pushing Dolomite's shoulders firmly, then harder when the hand didn't realise her hair. 

"Get OFF me." 

Dolomite staggered back. Jasper was breathing heavily and too fast. Her scalp smarted in an unfamiliar way and she could feel keenly the heat between her legs, but the Dolomite's scowl calmed her further as she straightened up to brush her own uniform off. 

"No need to be so rude about it Beta, shit. Just wanted to have some fun." She snorted and rolled her shoulders. "I'll let the others she's not up for it then shall I? You're not that special you know. Have fun with that on your own." Her eyes flickered down to Jasper's crotch, and then to her blushing scowl, she shrugged again, "Whatever." 

When she'd left, Jasper sagged against the wall trying to digest what had happened. She knew, vaguely, like she knew all sorts of things she couldn't possibly have a context for, that gems did this sort of thing sometimes but Dolomite had just been- just been- Jasper growled and slammed a fist into the post behind her, which made a worrying splintering sound. Maybe she should have just let her stay and do what she wanted. 

She brought tentative fingers down to her crotch and found a dampness the Dolomite must have seen. She was still alone, the tent empty and the tent-flap closed. She couldn't hear anyone near by. 

Her fingers pushed the fabric of her suit into the dampness of her crotch. She rooted about through the cloth, trying to simulate that feeling the Dolomite had achieved with just a crude shove of her thigh. Was it just because it was herself doing it? Would the Dolomite- or- or Pink- no surely-

Jasper rubbed her soft flesh through the suit for a few moments, then ground down with the heel of her hand, and found she liked the sensation better. If she just imaged Pink Diamond's finger slipping down to grind against- Jasper bit back a small moan and pushed harder, hunkering down onto the floor into a feral crouch. Just a little harder- she was rocking on the knuckle at the base of her thumb now, and a feeling was building like she was about to be sick, like she was about dissipate. She bent into it and let it take her, leaving her throbbing, relieved, shameful and confused. She stood up, glanced down and with a tug at the fabric saw the crotch of her suit was dark where she'd rubbed. 

What a fool. With concentration she reformed her uniform, and traced only slightly damp fingers down and across the pink diamond emblazoned on her chest. She should have fucked the Dolomite- it probably would have counted as team building and if she fought that badly then she was owed a good fuck before she was shattered in battle- certainly it would have been better instead of dreaming about what was probably treason or worse- and what a waste of time- there was a war- stupid humanoid constructs with these parts and these feelings- and to-

"Shut up, shut up." Jasper whispered to herself, taking a steadying breath. 

With a clearer head she thanked her stars that no-one had come in or been close enough to hear anything incriminating. She supposed that this was likely to happen again- the Dolomite had just been brave enough to give it a go first off. The problem was Jasper still didn't know if she should have- if she wanted to- or not- and whether it was a good idea to mess with her platoon like that? Surely, surely the war took first priority. 

Diamonds, she was still young and stupid wasn't she? Jasper rubbed her eyes and absently traced the sharp line of her gemstone down her face. 

Next time she'd take the situation at face value and not react in panic (or unbridled lust.) Hopefully. 

A siren sounded and she was moving, grabbing her things before even pausing to think; it was time to leave again. The faster the ended these skirmishes the sooner she could see Pink Diamond again. 

The thought warmed her and she cast Dolomite to the back of her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to an illustration I did for this chapter. (Links to tumblr)  
> https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/gemsdestabilize/150038799701


	6. 3 weeks

It was such a regret that the Diamond's were so rarely afforded time to leave their desks, responsibilities (and maybe, Jasper would admit) safety, to just _be_ in the world.

(And, well, watching Coral Pearl jog to keep up with her Diamond was hilarious.)

Pink Diamond moved so beautifully. Each of her legs was nearly as tall as Jasper and perfectly shaped from lightly muscled calf up to shapely soft thigh, but still a little toned so that the soft but opaque fabric of her leggings dipped to follow the muscle. The waistband ended high on her hips, but dipped to show her smooth pink stomach where her gem- her diamond- sat proudly. Her top covered down to her ribcage with ties to each side of her leggings over her hip bones. The top ended in a high neck, which Jasper's uniform echoed, and was sleeveless. Long gloves instead covered most of Pink Diamond's elegant arms, up to a good portion above her elbow leaving just a small section of toned upper arm with her lovely freckles.

In earth's atmosphere, her hair bounced and moved with her gait as she strode back from the communication hub, her light sheer cape flowing after her which left her courtiers and guards behind her ducking to avoid it tangling with them.

"Beta Jasper, your platoon is still stationed on guard in the south islands isn't it?"

"Yes, my Diamond."

"I'll tell that Chalcedony to send a messenger when they deploy again."

Her eyes stayed ahead, and her stride never faltered.

In public Pink Diamond was a little more reserved. Having a retinue of gem nobles watching your every movement did that to a gem, even a one as powerful as her. One or two high ranking gems from her sisters courts, a golden Topaz with a snooty gaze from Yellow Diamond, and a Zircon from White Diamond had been sent long before Jasper was born to be her advisors. Apparently a blue Topaz was arriving soon as well.

Despite the formality Jasper sometimes felt she fit in with Pink Diamond's retinue a little better than with her fellow Quartzes, although maybe that was only because no-gem there expected her to talk to them. Coral Pearl would nod at her, if she was lucky, and tell the guards if they were new to let her pass, and messenger gems were never there long enough to exchange more than a few words. The advisors mostly kept to themselves unless there was a scheduled meeting, and the Quartz's stationed to protect her, including an Amethyst and a Red Jasper got to know her but never attempted to strike up a conversation. They were older, she thought, trusted, seasoned, and maybe a little more diplomatic in their gossip.

Really, Jasper only spoke to Pink Diamond.

On excursions like this, Jasper was paraded as an elite bodyguard. That gem, _that_ Jasper. It wasn't all for show of course, as Jasper would have shattered herself in an instant to save Pink Diamond. 

She walked a few steps to one side of Pink Diamond with the other Jasper at her side, helmets formed and hands fisted by their sides; Jasper knew she looked good. When word invariably got back to her platoon, well, what was another layer of revered awe when she was carrying so many?

Pink Diamond's most commonly inhabited quarters weren't far from the communication hub. The main chamber was huge and round with a glass dome in the centre to let in the light through the stained glass. Multiple smaller rooms bubbled away from it in a series of twisting corridors with never a straight wall, each room differently coloured by the tinted glass at the top of their domes. The central room where Jasper had sat with Pink Diamond before had her main control panel and throne, a smaller seat for her Pearl and space to entertain at least half a century of gems, not that there were ever that many.

When the war was over Pink Diamond promised parties and gatherings- arena battles for fun and not deadly seriousness (Jasper would love those!) time for gem intellectuals to talk for weeks, parades, new, grander buildings and towers and most of all, space for the technicians to work at planting new gems, gems that would call earth their birth planet just like her and Jasper.

The sun at it's highest now; the cycles of night and day on Earth were so fast. They'd been out since dawn so most of Pink Diamond's court had left her to retreat to their own rooms, and just Pink and Jasper remained in the central chamber.

"This planet has such possibilities Jasper, if it could birth a Diamond just think what else it has. Your Kindergarten was hurried and awful, but you still managed. I'll never let that happen again. All the gems born here will be perfect and I'll look after them like I should, when the war is over."

Pink shed her cape. Coral Pearl (had she even been in the room?) appeared to scoop it up and vanished again with that patter of sock on tile Jasper found particularly irritating.

With her gloved hand Pink Diamond touched the walls she could reach, where the bare clay lay ready for the murals of their victories.

"When we can spare the gems to create and not just to fix, this room will be so beautiful don't you think?"

"It will."

Pink Diamond danced back the centre of the room and spun about- "Five panels- three for my sisters of course- Blue, White, Yellow-" she turned and pointed at the sections of curved wall behind her console. "One for me," she pointed past Jasper, "and one for Earth."

With a sigh, she folded her long legs under her and sat down on the floor on the tiled circle that marked the middle of the room. She craned her neck up to look into the glass dome through which the cornflower blue of the sky was visible, clouds chasing across lazily, pulling the day ever onward with them as they went.

Jasper followed her gaze, but shortly ended up with her eyes back on her Diamond. The light from above was rosy from the panels of red and pink glass set about the sides of the glass dome. They cast strange shadows down onto Pink Diamond's upturned face, shadows that flickered with the pass of clouds.

Jasper lost herself in thought that wasn't thought. The light danced and she looked. It could have been a second, it could have been minutes but Pink Diamond eventually turned and met her gaze.  
"You watch me a lot. And that's quite something as everyone always watches me a lot." She smiled, a little, her mouth quirking up wryly.

Jasper just grimaced, torn between a smile and an apology.

Pink blinked and held a hand out to her.

Jasper was caught off guard, and hesitated.

"Jasper?"

She crossed the distance quite quickly, taking Pink's longer thinner hand in her own. The contact sent a heat blushing across her back. Pink's hand was smooth and cool with the silky thin texture of the gloves.

"My perfect Jasper," her gaze was wide and proud, and she gently let down of Jasper's hand pushing her away, "Spin around for me?" Jasper turned, a little awkwardly, her hair swishing behind her until she faced Pink again. Pink laughed, a silvery musical laugh. "I'm so pleased with you sometimes. You represent everything this planet can be, I think."

She took hold of Jasper's hand again, waiting, their eyes level with her seat on the floor.

Jasper just looked at her. Again, the touch of her glove was an honour even if Jasper really wanted to run her hands along those perfect cheeks and kiss those arched eyebrows. Her Diamond's hair stood up in it's perfect scented waves, flowing back into four points. Jasper could run her hands through it, smell her scent on her tongue and press a kiss to that perfect jaw line. No- no. Stop.  
She must have been too still for a little too long. A chime on the console sounded.

Pink Diamond sighed, gently. "I really shouldn't sit on the floor I suppose. Not very regal of me." In a rustle of fabric against tile she was standing, pushed up from cross legged letting go of Jasper's hand abruptly.

Jasper watched her go back to her desk, slide into the seat tiredly and then straighten her shoulders into- back into a Diamond. Coral Pearl was brushing past Jasper before she could think to move herself, and somehow, it felt like something was amiss. What had Pink Diamond been waiting for- that somehow she hadn't- hadn't said? Hadn't done?

Jasper let her hand fall.

"My Diamond, may I be excused for a few moments?"

She nodded without looking up. Pearl was hovering at her shoulder as thought she'd never been gone, standing on that bench, pointing at something or other on the screens which seemed enough to occupy them both. Jasper saluted, thought she thought she wasn't observed, and made swiftly for the door.

Outside it was bright, with racing clouds over a hot blue sky. The planets moon was a strange bright crescent hanging high and alone.

The Jasper and Amethyst didn't say anything as she passed them to stand outside and feel the sun on her gem. She lounged back onto the stone wall of the palace, bent and un-armoured in contrast to her sister with her helmet and pike drawn standing straight and tall.

Red Jasper was old, much older than her Diamond and Jasper herself. She was broad shouldered and well made too- their heights were very close and her mane was equally white, spiky and long. Her gem though wasn't centrally placed but sat squarely on her shoulder; a kite shape too but the other way up to Jasper's. Her skin was all red, and her eyes were dark maroon. Jasper hadn't seem other well made Jaspers before. She could evaluate distantly the form of her shoulders and broad biceps, the dip of her waist to her huge thighs and calves, strong hands tight about the shaft of her weapon.  
It had been strange too, to hear a voice to similar to her own. Not that Red Jasper talked that much to her.

Jasper looked away.

She didn't want to annoy her when she was on duty and Jasper was just here as a- a visitor? Entertainment? She wasn't actually sure, but she'd found Pink Diamond requesting her again and again and she was more than happy to oblige. The rebels were sure to be crushed soon, if only this planet had fewer places to hide, and the she'd be able to be part of Pink's guard all the time, maybe, and be around her.

She shouldn't dream so. Her head was full of stupid things today. With an large unnecessary breath of the dry arid air, Jasper stretched so hard her back popped and held her head high as she walked back past the two Quartz guards into the gloom.

Back in the cool pink light of the central chamber, Pink Diamond was once again standing in the middle of the room under the domed window. Coral Pearl had gone.

"There you are. I heard some bad news and I'm sending you and the other Jasper out again."

"The Red Jasper My Diamond?"

She wondered if she'd known as they stood together silently side by side just seconds ago- but how could she?

"The Rose Quartz is going to try and take the Communication Hub, apparently." Pink Diamond sounded eighty times older than she had before dancing around her rooms. She pushed her hair back. "She's using fusions left right and centre so I want you both there to make it a fair fight, I don't want you crushed by some abomination. I'm sending the Carnelians and two Ruby squadrons. Maybe this is a good chance to finally end this all."

"Yes my Diamond. I'll defeat her, I swear."

Pink chuckled, sounding weary, "I know."

At that moment Jasper would have honestly taken the stupid Rose Quartz on there and then, even if she had to do it blindfolded. Pink looked so sad and exhausted by the whole damn dragging war. On impulse, Jasper touched her the back of her hand lightly.

Pink's eyes widened and she looked down.

Jasper wanted to scatter into pieces just there again; what a stupid breach of some etiquette she no doubt didn't know- never touch a Diamond- probably- why did she always do this? How presumptuous of this stupid dirt fresh gem-

Pink took her hand and squatted and down so she was even lower than Jasper. Her eyes were huge so close up, her lips pink and soft. She squeezed Jasper's hands tightly (which only hurt a little) and leant into Jasper _and kissed her gently on the lips._

She pulled away and looked aside: to herself, really, she nodded.

"I know you will."


End file.
